That and Then Some.
I’m glad I’ve found this journal. Before writing this piece, I was reflecting on the mental and emotional clarity this space for self-reflection provides.
It’s Tuesday evening, and I called myself going to be early tonight. I was betwixt the covers around 8:30 PM. I’m tired. I gave a lot of energy to friends today, some to job apps, emails, and my current projects.
What an exciting juncture to have arrived at. I vacillate between pure joy with where I am and anxiety about what will come. I trust it will be divinely timed and aligned, yet fear still exists around when, how, and where it’ll happen. Truthfully, I’m still reconciling my feelings about not being chosen. I tell myself, “its ok for imperfection to live here. It’s okay for worthiness to live here. It’s ok for hurt feelings to take up space, too.”
I do feel as if God removed several things from my life this year to ultimately illuminate that none of them make me who I am. Not a lover, a gig, a new set of nails, not a new regalia, or a beautiful Los Angeles apartment. Just me, my roots, vision, and purpose.
My craving for action makes me hungry to hear God more clearly. I want the tings already, or as my good friend Arri would say, “I want my treat!” Then, I’m reminded that the treat is right now — lying in my comfy bed in my mother’s home, protected, safe, single, free, fed, healthy, hydrated, moisturized, and making room for what is to come.
I am architecting a new reality, one where my root chakra is satiated through security and stability and where my sacral chakra is stimulated by the concepts I’m bringing to life. My heart chakra is brimming with self-love and willingness to overflow in love with a long-term partner.
Wow! This is 30 Under 30 recognized for what was and who to watch for what will be. This is thirty going on thirty-one, an entrance into a new decade. Surely, in the future, I’ll talk about how pivotal this year was for me.
It’s totally possible that I am…
Calling in clarity and intuitive movements
Standing in my light
Producing creative visions from a confident place
A full-time employee in my dream role
Stable, well paid, and fed (plant-based)
Actualizing my ancestor’s wildest dreams
Living in an African country
Highly sought after for my genius
A respected team member and leader
Prioritized and cherished
An inspiration, light, and genius
Capable of giving and receiving love
Living the life of my dreams right now
Elevating my family name to new heights
Liked, respected, appreciated, and desired by folks that I like, appreciate, and desire
Without worry or pain
Debt-free, healthy, sexy, and healthy
Joyous despite current circumstances
Madly in love with who I am, truly
On task, in purpose, and beyond vision
God embodied on earth and she is well pleased!